Welcome to Club Fed. All you can eat food, 24/7? Depends on which of the 5 dining halls do you feel like tonight. Gym? Just stroll along the freshly shined concertina wire and take your pick of equipment. Movies? Which of the 10,000 on file do you want to watch tonight? Beauty Salon, Taco Bell, Jewelry shop, University of Maryland classes, massage parlour....check, check, check, and check. Beautiful snow-capped mountains? 360 degree view.
Hold on a second before you enlist in this all-inclusive wonderland, as every Yin has a Yang. First, every second of your life occurs behind barbed wire and blast walls. No running down the block to pickup a kebab at the corner stand. And these "buildings" I speak of are either tents, trailers, or metal shipping containers that have been converted into living spaces (and not in the posh way that the Crate & Barrell catalog describes "living spaces"). Thats right, Mom and Dad, I've finally worked my way out of the degenerate slums of Orange County, and after two degrees and 10 years of work experience, I'm finally getting my chance to "move on up" and live in a trailer park.
To generate heat in the cold winters, Afghans burn everything, and I mean everything (didn't you know that plastic and nylon make wonderful firewood?); this means that the whole valley is covered in a lingering toxic haze that makes me yearn for the comparatively pristine LA smog of my childhood. And I finally have some sympathy for my lawyer friends, now that my work schedule is 12 hours a day, every day. Yeah, like I had to change the settings in my Outlook software to show my work week as Monday-Sunday rather than Monday-Friday. That kind of schedule.
Anyway, week 1 is officially toast. Here's to the next 23.
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| "A" marks the spot. Yeah, thats me, all itty bitty down there. |
To generate heat in the cold winters, Afghans burn everything, and I mean everything (didn't you know that plastic and nylon make wonderful firewood?); this means that the whole valley is covered in a lingering toxic haze that makes me yearn for the comparatively pristine LA smog of my childhood. And I finally have some sympathy for my lawyer friends, now that my work schedule is 12 hours a day, every day. Yeah, like I had to change the settings in my Outlook software to show my work week as Monday-Sunday rather than Monday-Friday. That kind of schedule.
Anyway, week 1 is officially toast. Here's to the next 23.
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